we're blogging at a bar
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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