That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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