Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
