Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
