He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think my moral compass just broke
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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