I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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