Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
