A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
