I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
