Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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