respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
