Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
