Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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