you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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