Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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