Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
