every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize