no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
