Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
