Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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