im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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