No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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