Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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