there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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