put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
