omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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