oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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