I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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