he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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