Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
