you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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