we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
