it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I had to cum in my sink.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
