i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
