i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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