We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
