I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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