We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
