I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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