They should really pass out barf bags in church
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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