i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
