I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
