I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
