Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
