Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
