What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
