Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
