Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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