So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
