We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
