already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize