he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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