What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
