Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
