Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
