I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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