Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Randomize
