By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
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Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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