Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Alive.
So much puke
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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