Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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