is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
