somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
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I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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