with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
