So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just cropdusted the office
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
