brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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