dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
