Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize