Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
